Observe, Observe, Observe......... continuing my journey into the world of mediation and self-employment.

 
You may or may not know that simply getting an accreditation as a mediator is not enough to start mediating. You need to observe, observe, observe….. and finding observations is not an easy task, saying that if you want to mediate as a career you don’t have time to wait for observations to come to you, you have to hunt them down and pounce! This is where my steely resolve stood me in good stead.
 
Once I had received my CEDR accreditation in January, I was really lucky to have completed the requisite observations and thrown in another one for luck, by mid April. Luckily, location wasn’t an issue for me (Daddy day care was on hand to step in with Rosie and I was free to go wherever I had to. In fact I looked forward to a long train journey so I could snooze if I needed to!! ) so I found myself in Leeds, Coventry and London. I secured observations with four of the best mediators in the country (no name dropping here but I have certainly been able to observe the best in action!).
 
From a hotel based mediation, to a Sikh Temple, to a swanky City firm’s offices, my observations gave me a fantastic insight into how varied mediations can be, from different types of location and venue, to different disputes, to different mediation styles. I even got to co-mediate during one of them, I suspect I was like an excitable puppy when the suggestion was made although I tried to remain cool, calm and collected. Around half way through the day the mediator decided that my personality would suit the parties and their differences and would help bring some of the issues to forefront and it did. I loved every second of being let loose. A passionate Italian businessman settled with a handshake with an equally passionate Irish investor, before rushing off to catch a flight. Settlement achieved before 5pm, which in itself can be an achievement!
 
Mediating in a Sikh Temple was also an experience I will never forget and hope to participate in again. A seemingly simple mediation of two parties yet involving around 30 people and an even larger community. It was an inspiring day. The cultural issues as well as the legal issues were fascinating and the midday humour was refreshing. We had to laugh out loud when we were both considering next steps whilst staring out the window to realise we were staring right at a washing line of big red knickers….. a little giggle went a long way and highlighted that humour is an incredibly important part of a long day of emotional exchanges.
 
My observations highlighted basic things that the litigator in me already knew, food and drinks are key, keeping fuelled is so important, attempting to starve the opponent or the mediator is not a good idea…. A room for the mediator to take time out is important, if of course it is possible, gathering thoughts and having somewhere to sit whilst a party needs more thinking time is a lovely luxury to have, saying that a mediator hardly ever stops…. thinking, listening, talking, moving from one room to another tirelessly until some common ground can be found and a deal can be done. Sitting in a hotel lobby isn’t so bad as long you can find a comfortable window sill to sit on, something I discovered during an observation in Leeds where a lot of the discussions with one party’s representative took place. A big lesson learnt is that the mediator cannot plan the day, the day will take its own twists and turns and the mediator has to be flexible to go with it as well as reign it in and guide it if necessary.
 
Observing is not something that I will stop doing just because I am no longer required to observe to be able to practice. A good observation experience is priceless to your development. What blows my mind now is that I have already been approached by several budding mediators to observe me in action! Have to pinch myself when those requests come in. So observations done, next stop was to do it alone…… my first booking came in. The dispute was an Inheritance Act claim, perfect! Location Liverpool, easy! Excitement and nerves kicked in in equal measure and off I went….